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_Panels of Life\\\Hedging on to God's Love

July 5th, 2010

Eaten the Humble Pie

Life has been hectic again. Work. Writing. Dance. Gym. 

It is getting more and more challenging to write the book. Finally crossing the half-way mark and completed the 7th chapter! Am so blessed to have pals from the writer's group to keep me on track each time. :)


Ever felt like you've been stripped of all things...people you love...things you're proud of...and power you enjoy? I have. 

The whole of last year was like travelling in the desert. I returned to my first workplace after 7 years. It was surreal meeting the same people, entering the same places, yet I no longer felt the same. It felt like facing Ground Zero, with a new perspective. Had I matured or what?

Last year was a year of understanding the true meaning of submission to authority; from team leaders to superiors to God. Some one once asked "If all you had to do is to be a donkey and wait around for the King to arrive, would you do it?" I resented that idea for I pride myself to be a diligent person. I'm proud of my excellence at work. I'm no slacker! I can't imagine a life just standing around doing nothing much the whole day...and that was what happened to me. I was no longer a youth leader. I worked with a superior totally different from me. I worked hard but failed in a major project. Life was new, but I endured. I made clear I understood I was a team member, a subordinate and a work-in-progress. Many times, I ate the humble pie and recognise I was wrong about myself and others. Many times, I've learnt I know less than what I think I do.

This year is a year of pressing on. For the first time in many years of my life...a team I worked with won in a National Racial Harmony Free Media Competition. To think that it was the only team sent in and won 1st runners-up...it's amazing.  A recent circumstance put me back in touch with the same youths I care very much for. Am going start a new youth group again.   

Dancing has a strange way of making you very aware of your body. 3rd session of hiphop and bellydance at Dance Castle.  Am three-quarters into the hiphop routine...Derek, my instructor praised me for my sharp moves today! So so HaPPY. :) Hoping to shred a couple more percentile, so I'd look more sleek and sharper in front of the studio mirror. Am struggling with the belly-dance moves tho' Stepanie is a brilliant instructress. Me feel like a wooden block. A fat wooden block, blah. ~
*Shirleen offered new Jive and Waltz classes today. 3 guys already interested...awaiting female partners to kickstart the class. V rare...

Someone prayed and reminded me of God's mercy of bringing back the israelites after the exiles recently.
God's Word:
"I'm the one who takes away, but I'm also the one to give back." 


June 27th, 2010

Happy Birthday


Birthday is a good time of catching up with pals. Been eating and eating and eating. ...From NYDC @Wheelock... tasting the famous laksa from Quality Cafe (sedap! :)...to 'taitai' English Tea @Halia, Botanical Gardens...to Rendand Beef Lunch at Resort World, Sentosa ...I had a jolly good time! So, had my belly. And, I screamed looking at the weighing scale after gym last Friday! "Remember, THIS record," said gene. Sad...


Any whilst, life is more than the added kilos. Each gather is precious to me... ;)
My bff said "I got u s'thing u won't buy for urself." ...And she's right! ;)

The most memorable hi-tea ever! It rained and rained and we were all drenched! Still, we came... ;)

A cozy time together

Universal Studio, Resort World, Sentosa

My Fav Funny Birthday Cake!
Melissa and tiffancy decorated the cake together. Melissa 'drew' the smiley face and Tiffancy ' made' the lovely flowers. See the two 'hearts' by the side? It means 'luv luv you'. Sooooo Sooooo Sweeeeeeeeeet!


Me now back on the running mill again...I wana keep fit to enjoy life! 

June 14th, 2010

The Joy of Learning


Have been trying hard to clear marking for the close of term, but each time I set a target deadline, something else would happen and disrupt my plan. And, I would be sinking into my chair at the end of the day. Sigh!

Still, I pressed on and ploughed through the scripts. Finally done.


In the midst of the chaos, I attended several training and found new joy and strength to carry on.

Training 1: Sat, 5 Jun 2010 
Do you know how to introduce yourself to a Queen appropriately?

Did you know what bowing at 35% means in some cultures?

Do you know the seating arrangement for a VIP in a car?

Well, I learnt all that and more at a recent training with Veronica Chia, whose one aim among many was to 'raise our verbiage' when we interact with our dignitaries. Huh...? Yet, I had a hilarious and enriching time in class with spontaneous classmates from different background...role-playing and discussing on different scenarios. 

These were the most memorable:
- My friend demonstraing the muslim greeting
- Me as the First Lady (clutching my bag under my arm-pits and was corrected by the trainer! Nonono...the correct way is to carry it by your elbow or hold it with your hands.)
- A 'dignitary' in role play remarking "so narrow?" when he could not squeeze through a row of tables and patrons to leave the room. Lesson learnt: How to find the shortest and safest way around for my dignitary.
- We thought this was easy but many N.G.'ed many times. And, all we had to say was "Welcome, Your Excellency...." hahah! ;p
- Getting wrong answers in the quiz and now knowing the correct answers. Yeah! :)


Training 2: Mon, 14 Jun 2010
Meet Enriko Varella and his wealth of experiences and readings. His candid magic tricks and witty humour. All these made learning serious topics of workforce policies and understanding the nature of volunteerism in general and for the Games fun.

My head might have ached from cracking through discussion and discussion....but all was good for I have learnt a lot which I can apply in my life and for work.

A sample of my fun learning:
- Thought of the Day: Most people will be promoted to the next level of their incompetency
   me: Revelation about growth and learning.
- Thought 02 of the Day: Do three things better than anybody, well

- Read "Tribes" by Seth Godin
- Thought 03 of the Day: Passion can be general or specific
- Quote from...(can't rem) : Never get angry. Get even.

- Thought 04 of the Day: What we can measure, we can manage. What we can measure, we can control
- Thought 05 of the Day: Good Leaders Takes Responsibility of their Roles and Empower Others with Authority
- "One Thing at a Time"

- B.E.E.R: Begin. Enjoy, End. Regret.
- G.S.T: Greet. Smile. Thank.
- SKILLS = If there is no Skills, it kills.
- LEARNING = If you Learn, there is earning.

Other skills I learnt: risk management, roles of a team leader, things that disconnect people, the Art of Praise, the DESC model, the Universal Handshake (Six Points of Connecttion), the three Rs in the Rapport Model (Respect, Resassurance and Recognition). Effective Questioning and Listening and strategies to handle different types of people.


Training 3: Mon, 14 Jun 2010
Slide your hands to the right like 'Superman Fly', slide to the left, cover your face, then, karate chop, chop, chop, chop, kite-pulling, pull and pull, then robotic turns and hands slides...to the music of 'P..P..P..P..P..P..P..Pokerface'. That was what I did tonight.

First class of Hip Hop.

Fun! :)


May 27th, 2010

Divine Wisdom

Life has been hectic as the body recovers.

A chanced discovery brought me much disgust. With the disgust came stress as I fret over how irresponsible people could be and anxious over what damage control I could help with.

As I frowned in anxiety, a colleague patted my shoulders and said "Thank God, this is discovered now."

My eyes beamed with the new revelation. Yes! Thank God! There is still ample time for correction.

I set out to resolve the matter with a renewed confidence that everything would be fine. Indeed, God is sovereign.

May 15th, 2010


Have been having backaches. And constant fatigue have worn me down in many ways.

Thought it might be due to exercising. Told Gene and Matt about it and we had been watching it closely. 

Thought it might be due to work stress for work has been tight as the term comes to a close soon.

Thought it might be the erratic weather. I have been drenched from class, sweating in the heat, and aching to the bones from entering the freezing staff room. 

Thought it might be PMS, but I had just shredded blood.

Then, the thoat burned and cut with every word. The body ached in pain with every move. And finally, the body succumbed defeat and flu has raged in it the past week. The worst bout in the longest time.


May 8th, 2010

Singapore 2010 YOG


Source: http://www.singapore2010.sg/public/sg2010/en.html 

Singapore will be the host country for the first Youth Olympic Games and I'm gonna be a part of it...YOohoO!

This is the first time that I'm volunteering for an International Games. Training will start next Sat. Am excited!


May 5th, 2010



Just came home from Yann's father's wake. Was keen to cheer my dear friend on more than anything else, yet, I was touched beyond me.

It has been nine months since Yanne left as my neighbour @work. Many things have happened. I missed her sound advice. I missed her candid cheer. I missed our little girly chats. I miss my dear friend lah.

Meeting Yanne today was mixed feelings. We were happy to see each other yet sad about her pain. 

First time attending a funeral service too. Didn't know what to expect. It was a hokkien service and my Hokkien is 'limited edition'. Hence, very thankful of Pastor's wife's translation to English.

Pastor spoke about 'numbering our days'. Who would you call if you have one hour before you die? I answered in my heart "My Mother". I never expected that answer for I had been more impatient with my mum over her same nagging and her faithful near-midnight call from work...asking what I would like to eat for dinner the next day. Food, to me, is always furthest from my mind as I fight fire at work each day. I'm exhausted on most nights, so to raise my body to pick up the phone near midnight and to think of what to eat the next day is a pain to me. But, I would faithfully do so despite it. Honestly, I don't really care what I eat as long as I get to eat at home for that's a luxury of family time I cherish. I wish she understands and believes what I say. I don't mince my words. I wish she truly realised her daughter has grown. I'm no longer a little girl, I could be a mother of a teenager in any case. Love format has to change with age. 

In my heart, I know my mother loves me. And I love her too. Maybe that's why I behave the way I have been...I can't imagine going through the pain when she dies. 


A  good reminder and encouragement to self...

If I speak in the tonguesa of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,b but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13


May 2nd, 2010

Guardian Angel


I love shopping. But 7 places in 5 days for work? I ended up with sore feet, a stretched neck (from oogling at the window displays) and a worrying heart wondering if everyone in class was safe each time. I visited a new mall tho. ;) And Tampines 1 was only so-so. 

I had wanted to abort all the rest of the experiential learning for the week...for my own heart was weak after an assault case on Monday. I was exesperated when I received the phone call. My heart pounded hard as I worried about my kid's injury. I panicked for the rest of the class who needed me at a distant place at the same time. As I stood alone in the carpark, looking up to the sky in desolation...I heard my name being called. 

"Hi, Cher...you ok?" It was a student from another class.

"No, I'm not," I replied.

I related what happened and he offered help. I was so touched, especially, when I had felt very bad for scolding him several days back and had been praying for reconciliation. Never did I expect it to be this way. He saved my day!   

I was real scared to take another class out after that. I was all ready to abort the exercise for all the other classes...just to play safe. My heart was too weak for another to be hurt. But encouragement from boss and colleagues gave me new strength to try again. Nothing bad happened to the other classes. In fact, I had quality time with many of them. Thank God, I tried!


It has been a week since I started cutting down on carbo, keeping to veg, soup and meat, for dinner and it was tough. My mind would be filled wtih food by mid-afternoon and it did not help that everyone in the dept was feeling the same! So, we would munch crackers and chat our cravings away.

I love this one so far....wondering which animal I'll get each time I reach into the pack. ;) 

Good for Kids too!Collapse )

April 26th, 2010



For a week each month, I turn Emo.

It starts with a sigh. Then, a sadness. Then, an impending volcanic eruption of intense emotions brews from within. Then, there are deeper sighs and a greater irritation of the things around. The body goes lethagic. So does the mind. All I wish to do is to cuddle and slack in my cave...but the world does not stop spinning just because I feel like a slug. There are responsibilities and tons of stuff to do! And so, the volcano in me continues to brew as I go about my days.  

I would crave for food I normally don't eat. Hmmm...char-kuey-tiao with cockles extras = yummy! 

i would burst into anger more often than usual. 

I would be sadder than usual about many things in life.

These are signs of my PMS, aka Pre-Menstrual-Signs.


I feel like eating cake now...

April 25th, 2010

The Return


It had been almost 5 months since I last wrote. A long while. 

I had been busy as usual. FB was a great draw. I've enjoyed its convenience. But, I've realised some things are more important than convenience.

I've realised much memories have been lost in the process. FB might have been a convenient tool to share my life in a moment, but I could not go deeper with it. It could be a starting point to many great friendships. But, I've realised I could only write a brief part of me. A bigger part is shared here. Deeper friendships have been made here.

I shall write again.


Yann's pa is sick. I am worried but I can do little. I could only email her across the seas to America. I can only pray with her here. Thank God, she can read about my past entries in Oct 2004 about my pa. Thank God, they could be a strength to her now. Jiayou, Chapati!


Writing has been hard for me. Though I've written almost half of the book, I'm still trembling with fear. 7 more to go. How am I going to write amidst the chaos of work? How much will I bare about my life? How am I going to complete the book when I have no publisher at hand? 

I can only keep writing.

Source: MeTaMoFosis

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